Months ago we were encouraged to take sides in an American War of the 99% v. 1%. Now it's the 53% v. 47%.
I think 100% of us will be better off if we stop taking sides in a war and think of ourselves as the 100%.
What do you think?
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Guidelines for Communications
Hi all,
This week online, people have been fooled into reposting untrue posts on Facebook announcing deaths of celebrities, they've emailed incomplete anecdotes and slanted stories designed to scare people into voting against a particular candidate for President and, in my community, they've been collecting signatures on a petition from people who simply believe what they're told without learning anything about the issue. On a longer timeline, people are estranged from loved ones due to misunderstandings that egos and fear keep in place, and people are puzzled because the reaction they get from others doesn't match up with who they think they are and how they should be treated. We are all often confused and in pain, in short because we're not great communicators.
This week I'm posting a list that I was given in a communications course I took in the late '80s from a now-defunct organization called Summit Workshops. The content of this list was never copyrighted, so I share it with you here. I found it to be so useful myself that I've always kept a copy nearby. As you read the list, you'll see why I think this is so imporant.
1. Take full responsibility for success in the communications process. As a listener, take full responsibility for hearing what others are saying. As a talker, take full responsibility for being certain that people understand what you are saying. Don't meet people halfway in your relationships. Always give 100%.
2. Look at yourself as others see you. Imagine being your parents. Imagine being the person who is in a relationship with you. Imagine being your employer. When you come into a room or into your place of work, what do you think peoples' first impression will be of you?
3. Rather than hearing what you want to hear, listen for the facts. Remember, everything you communicate is your opinion based on your limited impressions from limited sources. Keep expanding your information.
4. It's never too late to communicate. Don't wait for fear of what the response might be.
5. The vacuum created by a failure to communicate will quickly be filled by rumor, misrepresentation, drivel and poisonous thought.
6. In the communication process, knowledge is not always wisdom, sensitivity is not always accuracy, sympathy is not understanding, empathy is never assuming anything until you have been in that person's position.
7. Listen for the truth and speak the truth. Don't let a fad make you one of countless victims of greed. When you hear something that impresses you, check the validity of the source.
8. Look at everything you hear with an open-minded type of examination. Be open-minded enough to consider it without prejudice and be analytical enough to research and test the validity and integrity.
9. See both the positive and the negative sides of any issue, then pursue the positive side.
10. Shift your roles; change your roles easily and appropriately from a business executive to a courteous driver, to a friend, to a confidante, to a lover and to a teacher.
11. Consider the kind of people who you are attracted to and the kind of people to whom you are attractive. Are they the same types? Do you attract winners? Are you attracted to people who are more or less successful than you, and why?
So, how do you like the list? Which ones do you think our society really needs the most right now? Which ones are your personal challenge? Which ones have been your light in the dark, and you weren't even aware of it? I'd really like to hear your reactions and experiences. I encourage you to post your comments below.
Also, if you would like a formatted list sent to you via email, please email me at:
saraburns2000 AT gmail DOT com.
Please share my blog with others you think would like to know about the list, and especially with people you think need the list as much as you do!
Yours in kindness and peace,
Sara
This week online, people have been fooled into reposting untrue posts on Facebook announcing deaths of celebrities, they've emailed incomplete anecdotes and slanted stories designed to scare people into voting against a particular candidate for President and, in my community, they've been collecting signatures on a petition from people who simply believe what they're told without learning anything about the issue. On a longer timeline, people are estranged from loved ones due to misunderstandings that egos and fear keep in place, and people are puzzled because the reaction they get from others doesn't match up with who they think they are and how they should be treated. We are all often confused and in pain, in short because we're not great communicators.
This week I'm posting a list that I was given in a communications course I took in the late '80s from a now-defunct organization called Summit Workshops. The content of this list was never copyrighted, so I share it with you here. I found it to be so useful myself that I've always kept a copy nearby. As you read the list, you'll see why I think this is so imporant.
Guidelines for Communications
1. Take full responsibility for success in the communications process. As a listener, take full responsibility for hearing what others are saying. As a talker, take full responsibility for being certain that people understand what you are saying. Don't meet people halfway in your relationships. Always give 100%.
2. Look at yourself as others see you. Imagine being your parents. Imagine being the person who is in a relationship with you. Imagine being your employer. When you come into a room or into your place of work, what do you think peoples' first impression will be of you?
3. Rather than hearing what you want to hear, listen for the facts. Remember, everything you communicate is your opinion based on your limited impressions from limited sources. Keep expanding your information.
4. It's never too late to communicate. Don't wait for fear of what the response might be.
5. The vacuum created by a failure to communicate will quickly be filled by rumor, misrepresentation, drivel and poisonous thought.
6. In the communication process, knowledge is not always wisdom, sensitivity is not always accuracy, sympathy is not understanding, empathy is never assuming anything until you have been in that person's position.
7. Listen for the truth and speak the truth. Don't let a fad make you one of countless victims of greed. When you hear something that impresses you, check the validity of the source.
8. Look at everything you hear with an open-minded type of examination. Be open-minded enough to consider it without prejudice and be analytical enough to research and test the validity and integrity.
9. See both the positive and the negative sides of any issue, then pursue the positive side.
10. Shift your roles; change your roles easily and appropriately from a business executive to a courteous driver, to a friend, to a confidante, to a lover and to a teacher.
11. Consider the kind of people who you are attracted to and the kind of people to whom you are attractive. Are they the same types? Do you attract winners? Are you attracted to people who are more or less successful than you, and why?
So, how do you like the list? Which ones do you think our society really needs the most right now? Which ones are your personal challenge? Which ones have been your light in the dark, and you weren't even aware of it? I'd really like to hear your reactions and experiences. I encourage you to post your comments below.
Also, if you would like a formatted list sent to you via email, please email me at:
saraburns2000 AT gmail DOT com.
Please share my blog with others you think would like to know about the list, and especially with people you think need the list as much as you do!
Yours in kindness and peace,
Sara
Monday, August 27, 2012
What are we celebrating on August 26, Women's Equality Day?
I have to admit, until I saw a message on my Facebook page, I didn't know today was Women's Equality Day in the United States of America. So, I did some internet research and discovered that today has been honored as such since 1971, when, at the behest of Congresswoman Bella Abzug (D-NY), Congress passed a resolution that included the following:
"WHEREAS, the women of the United States have been treated as second-class citizens and have not been entitled the full rights and privileges, public or private, legal or institutional, which are available to male citizens of the United States; and
WHEREAS, the women of the United States have united to assure that these rights and privileges are available to all citizens equally"So, we're celebrating women's second-class status on Women's Equality Day? This didn't make sense to me. And when something doesn't make sense to me, or seems incredibly ironic, I do what I can to try to make sense of it. This leads me to explain, in general, what my blog process is and what you can expect to read, to see if you'd like to spend time here.
The contents of this first blog post, below, are the questions I was curious about and the information I found to satisfy my curiosity. Please know that I did my best to find and provide accurate, objective, verifiable information that is not skewed to defend any particular agenda or point of view. I will quote and/or paraphrase from these sources, in italics, and provide the links to those sources at the end of the blog, so you can read more, if you choose. My aim is to learn enough to inform myself to form a more well-rounded, reasonable point of view that may be applied with love, peace, kindness and justice in my life when I need to make choices. My intention is definitely not to prove that I am right or that anyone else is wrong, or right. I do this with as much respect and honesty as I possibly can, while acknowledging that my humanity and personal experience makes it impossible for me to do this perfectly. I expect inconsistencies and undetected biases to be brought forth as a result of the awareness this inquiry process. That does not bother me a bit, in fact, I appreciate that about myself! It doesn't mean I'm intentionally dishonest, ignorant, blind or stupid. It means I'm alive and thinking. If this appeals to you, I invite you to read on.
Simply put, today is a day to acknowledge the passage and ratification of the 19th Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America which extended the right to vote in elections and run for political office in this country. The acknowledgment of these legal rights is brought into focus against the past few months in which our media, politicians and Facebook pages have been focusing on "the war against women", and in particular the ascribed role of the Republican party, in that war. Today the conversations are mostly about the rights for women in the areas of our bodies' reproductive capacities and our personal choices with respect to that, our opportunities in the workplace and pay. Since my rememberance of details, heck, even broad themes, in American sufferagist history is spotty, this meant I'd have to dig up the relevant historical context and timeline.
None of those are colonial, eastern or southern states. So westward expansion and its new demands upon migrants and settlers, which demanded different contributions from women and men, seems to be the force that turned the tide for the pursuit of women's rights.
Simply put, today is a day to acknowledge the passage and ratification of the 19th Amendment of the Constitution of the United States of America which extended the right to vote in elections and run for political office in this country. The acknowledgment of these legal rights is brought into focus against the past few months in which our media, politicians and Facebook pages have been focusing on "the war against women", and in particular the ascribed role of the Republican party, in that war. Today the conversations are mostly about the rights for women in the areas of our bodies' reproductive capacities and our personal choices with respect to that, our opportunities in the workplace and pay. Since my rememberance of details, heck, even broad themes, in American sufferagist history is spotty, this meant I'd have to dig up the relevant historical context and timeline.
What was the status of women when the Constitution was written and passed into the law of our land?
During America's early history as a nation, women were denied some of the key rights enjoyed by male citizens. For example, married women couldn't own property and had no legal claim to any money they might earn, and no female had the right to vote.
I have to admit, it's hard for me to imagine living comfortably in a time and place in which the people in power, in this case white men, deliberately deny me the right to own property, keep my own money (a universally acknowledged tool of power), and a countable voice in governance, among many other things that are denied to women. I know, culture was very different back then, and it didn't seem odd to them at the time, I guess, but my imagination just doesn't go there.
When did people begin to challenge these limits to women's rights?
Meanwhile, [during the 1820's and 1830's] many American women were beginning to chafe against what historians have called the "Cult of True Womanhood"; that is, the idea that the only "true" woman was a pious, submissive wife and mother concerned exclusively with home and family.
Meanwhile, [during the 1820's and 1830's] many American women were beginning to chafe against what historians have called the "Cult of True Womanhood"; that is, the idea that the only "true" woman was a pious, submissive wife and mother concerned exclusively with home and family.
In addition to the belief that women should be afforded better opportunities for education and employment, and that American women were autonomous individuals who deserved their own political identities.
So, within about 40 years the issue of women's limited rights and roles under law became an issue. Women wanted the benefits of education, employment to earn their own and keep their own money and their autonomy. In other words, they wanted their share of the means to be a power in their own lives and in their country. Equal opportunities in education, employment and the vote were means achieve it.
How did this relate to black men's right to vote?
So, within about 40 years the issue of women's limited rights and roles under law became an issue. Women wanted the benefits of education, employment to earn their own and keep their own money and their autonomy. In other words, they wanted their share of the means to be a power in their own lives and in their country. Equal opportunities in education, employment and the vote were means achieve it.
How did this relate to black men's right to vote?
...some other suffrage leaders objected to the proposed 15th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which would give black men the right to vote, but failed to extend the same privilege to American women of any skin color.
Oh my. So some of the women who acted to get the status of women changed did not support the same for black men. Now I'm wondering how that relates to their efforts on behalf of black women. More questions! Did they try to exclude black women from the 19th Amendment? Were they against the black men's vote because they thought it was a zero sum game, an "us or them" in which a win for black men was a loss for women? I wonder what would have happened if women and black men saw it differently and joined together? My imagination tells me that white men would have really felt it was an us against them, with everyone else trying to get their piece of the rights pie. Intriguing that black men would have success in this area before women.
What factors of change led to the passage of the 19th Amendment?
...in 1869 when the Wyoming Territory granted all female residents age 21 and older the right to vote. Within six years, Colorado, Utah and Idaho adopted amendments to their state constitutions granting women the right to vote. Between 1910 and 1918, the Alaska Territory, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Illinois, Indiana, Kansas, Michigan, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New York, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota and Washington all extended voting rights to women.
None of those are colonial, eastern or southern states. So westward expansion and its new demands upon migrants and settlers, which demanded different contributions from women and men, seems to be the force that turned the tide for the pursuit of women's rights.
After states began to grant the right to vote, what led to the constitutional amendment?
In 1918, President Wilson (Democrat) switched his stand on women's voting rights from objection to support. tied the proposed suffrage amendment to America's involvement in World War I (1914-18) and the increased role women had played in the war efforts.
War? Really? Wow! The role and contribution of women in "winning" the Great War is what led a Democratic President to change his mind. Which is the bigger "fail" for a President- to lose a war due to the lack of the fruits of women's war productivity or to lose exclusive male power in the areas of voting and holding political office? I guess we see which alternative he chose. Women's votes as a payback for uniforms, guns and sulpha drugs, sort of. And some people say women would end all wars!
After the President switched sides, what happened in the Congress?
On May 21, 1919, U.S. Representative James R. Mann (1856-1922), a Republican from Illinois and chairman of the Suffrage Committee, proposed the House resolution to approve the Susan Anthony Amendment granting women the right to vote. The measure passed the House 304-89—a full 42 votes above the required two-thirds majority.
The vote came after four hours of debate, during which Democratic Senators opposed to the amendment filibustered to prevent a roll call...
For adoption: 36 Republicans + 20 Democrats = 46
Against adoption: 8 Republicans + 17 Democrats = 25
Senators from Alabama, Louisiana and New York were against adoption because they maintained the states' right to decide the issue for their own citizens.
Senators from Alabama, Louisiana and New York were against adoption because they maintained the states' right to decide the issue for their own citizens.
Within six days of the ratification cycle, Illinois, Michigan and Wisconsin each ratified the amendment. Kansas, New York and Ohio followed on June 16, 1919. By March of the following year, a total of 35 states had approved the amendment, one state shy of the two-thirds required for ratification. Southern states were adamantly opposed to the amendment, however, and seven of them—Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Maryland, Mississippi, South Carolina and Virginia—had already rejected it. Tennessee - decision came down to 23-year-old Representative Harry T. Burn (1895-1977), a Republican from McMinn County, to cast the deciding vote. Although Burn opposed the amendment, his mother convinced him to approve it.
A 23 year old Republican changed his vote because of his Mom's persuasion. I owe my rights to a 23 year old who respected his Mom and other women.
How long after it passed Congress until the law went into effect?
On November 2 of that same year, more than 8 million women across the U.S. voted in elections for the first time. It took over 60 years for the remaining 12 states to ratify the 19th Amendment. Mississippi was the last to do so, on March 22, 1984.
For some reason, I recall that in the first Presidential election in which women weren't arrested for trying to vote, they helped elect Republican Warren G. Harding and he won by a large margin and with a lot more money than his opponent.
Mississippi was the last state to ratify this amendment. North Carolina was the only other state to take over 50 years to ratify, having done so in 1971, the year in which Congresswoman Abzug introduced the resolution honoring Women's Equality Day. It took over 70 years for all women in this country to be allowed the right to vote, not just those in states who allowed it.
So, it was primarily Republicans who sponsored and voted for the bill. Today, the Democrats and those who identify with other political parties today are saying that Republicans are leading a war on women's rights. I know that I personally still see inequalities and issues we need to deal with in resolving these inequalities. I'm wondering how we got from there to here. And I wonder, given the next election is just over 2 months away, where we'll go next.
Feel free to add you own comments, cite further sources, give your opinion or ask more questions. I welcome them all. I do ask that you do so respectfully with the intent to build peaceful bridges of understanding and acceptance, not wordbomb of derision and division. Happy thinking!
Works Cited:
19th Amendment, History.com, n.d., Web, Aug. 26, 2012, http://www.history.com/topics/19th-amendment
"Modern History Sourcebook: The Passage of the 19th Amendment, 1919-1920
Articles from The New York Times", (c)Paul Halsall September 1997, Web, Aug. 26, 2012, http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/mod/1920womensvote.html
"What is Women's History Day?", National Women's History Project, n.d., Web, Aug. 26, 2012, http://www.nwhp.org/resourcecenter/equalityday.php
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