This week online, people have been fooled into reposting untrue posts on Facebook announcing deaths of celebrities, they've emailed incomplete anecdotes and slanted stories designed to scare people into voting against a particular candidate for President and, in my community, they've been collecting signatures on a petition from people who simply believe what they're told without learning anything about the issue. On a longer timeline, people are estranged from loved ones due to misunderstandings that egos and fear keep in place, and people are puzzled because the reaction they get from others doesn't match up with who they think they are and how they should be treated. We are all often confused and in pain, in short because we're not great communicators.
This week I'm posting a list that I was given in a communications course I took in the late '80s from a now-defunct organization called Summit Workshops. The content of this list was never copyrighted, so I share it with you here. I found it to be so useful myself that I've always kept a copy nearby. As you read the list, you'll see why I think this is so imporant.
Guidelines for Communications
1. Take full responsibility for success in the communications process. As a listener, take full responsibility for hearing what others are saying. As a talker, take full responsibility for being certain that people understand what you are saying. Don't meet people halfway in your relationships. Always give 100%.
2. Look at yourself as others see you. Imagine being your parents. Imagine being the person who is in a relationship with you. Imagine being your employer. When you come into a room or into your place of work, what do you think peoples' first impression will be of you?
3. Rather than hearing what you want to hear, listen for the facts. Remember, everything you communicate is your opinion based on your limited impressions from limited sources. Keep expanding your information.
4. It's never too late to communicate. Don't wait for fear of what the response might be.
5. The vacuum created by a failure to communicate will quickly be filled by rumor, misrepresentation, drivel and poisonous thought.
6. In the communication process, knowledge is not always wisdom, sensitivity is not always accuracy, sympathy is not understanding, empathy is never assuming anything until you have been in that person's position.
7. Listen for the truth and speak the truth. Don't let a fad make you one of countless victims of greed. When you hear something that impresses you, check the validity of the source.
8. Look at everything you hear with an open-minded type of examination. Be open-minded enough to consider it without prejudice and be analytical enough to research and test the validity and integrity.
9. See both the positive and the negative sides of any issue, then pursue the positive side.
10. Shift your roles; change your roles easily and appropriately from a business executive to a courteous driver, to a friend, to a confidante, to a lover and to a teacher.
11. Consider the kind of people who you are attracted to and the kind of people to whom you are attractive. Are they the same types? Do you attract winners? Are you attracted to people who are more or less successful than you, and why?
So, how do you like the list? Which ones do you think our society really needs the most right now? Which ones are your personal challenge? Which ones have been your light in the dark, and you weren't even aware of it? I'd really like to hear your reactions and experiences. I encourage you to post your comments below.
Also, if you would like a formatted list sent to you via email, please email me at:
saraburns2000 AT gmail DOT com.
Please share my blog with others you think would like to know about the list, and especially with people you think need the list as much as you do!
Yours in kindness and peace,
Sara
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